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Cutie and the “Old Ed”

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Ed & Cutie photo

As the former editor for The Gateway Gazette, I know how hard it is to get submissions so I will share with you the article I gave to the MOA Foundation. I was the editor of the Gazette for a decade in a former life. I gained the moniker of “The Ed” since I would have to write stories or edit submissions of our club members into an interesting article. Based on events of the year, I “hand made” awards out of scrap parts to be awarded at our Christmas Party. I would always have the recipient address the audience and explain the reason for the award. (ie: crash, safe riding ticket, fire, flat tire, imprisonment, etc.) This promoted participation and camaraderie among the members in my judgment. Unfortunately, I got ensnared in a real estate lawsuit that forced me to resign my post, as my time and most of my money was now spent on research and feeding lawyers. I truly miss being “The Ed” and that part of my life… If only I hadn’t bought that damn house! (The lawsuit ran for over 10 years… some retirement. Killed our riding and bank account.)

Cutie is my wife and riding partner of 40 some years. She is also an English teacher of over 50 years which helped with the proofreading while publishing the Gazette. We have over 300,000 miles on our ‘86 Naked K100 and have ridden another 30 on the GT and GSA. (90% of which has been 2 up with several 1000 mile days per year attained. Gotta get my paperwork in for the 300K pin and medallion.) We have ridden coast to coast, border to border, and into Canada. (Upon entry into Canada, I proclaimed that our destination was the MOA Rally in Toledo… Where upon Cutie slapped my helmet and screamed “Toronto, you twit!”) To this day I can still see the two border patrol officer’s faces stifling outright laughter. Neither one spoke after that. One of them just handed back our “papers” and told us to “GO!”. (Did I mention, Cutie is also the navigator?)

“I don’t care if I’m lost as long as I’m making good time.” - Bill Haugen

To get a K Bike past the triple century mark requires a lot in terms of maintenance and parts. I could have purchased many bikes for the amount of money invested in keeping this bike on the road. I have indeed looked at every new bike BMW has produced over the decades. None quite fit our 2-up riding with luggage requirements because of the muffler placement. At one time I did purchase a preowned ‘09 K1300GT when faced with several issues of expensive maintenance on the K100. This bike, with its 23 years of advancements, gave new meaning to the term “flying brick”. I could now literally fold time. It also introduced me to the difference between mechanical horsepower vs computer horsepower. I increased the horsepower output with the usual intake and exhaust modifications, plus, new to me, computer remapping. (It’s modified output was now approximately double that of the K100’s horsepower!) Those 1000 mile days look shorter now…

As bikes evolve to give more features available to its riders so does the complexity of engineering. My K13GT came with all the amenities of electronically adjustable suspension, cruise control, engine monitoring, and tire pressure read outs. It also came with a Garmin GPS. The previous owner did not clear the top speed memory thus leaving a readout of 157. Hmmmm… Well, we certainly can’t let that stand, can we? I was just past 150 on 370 and a gear change, with plenty left on hand to eviscerate the previous benchmark, when it happened. A BIG yellow triangle appeared on the readout informing me that I had a flat rear tire! Anyone that has experienced a flat on a bike knows what excitement awaits during deceleration. If the tire holds together pick your line to the shoulder. Steering input is not welcomed. My problem is that the line to the shoulder is more than a mile off. How will this end I wonder? Would ABS help? Stability control? Do I even have stability control? Now is not the time to find out. Going in dead stick… no braking, anticipating the tank slapper. Then, without warning, something else happened. At about 95 or so the yellow triangle turned off! WHAT? Rear tire pressure now showed 42psi! A new personal record was set that day, but is was not the top speed. “First you say it, then you do it.” – Bill Cosby

After finding out how much new tire pressure monitors, programming, installation, plus new tires would cost, I decided to trade in the rocket. At 600+lbs., it was too heavy for me anyway. I traded it for a ‘12GSA Triple Black that only has rudimentary readouts and a maintenance minder for service. It’s top speed is limited by wind resistance. I’ve made it into a RT of sorts for 2-up touring. Life slowed down and was no longer a blur. “The journey became the destination.” – anonymous

The K100 now received a new timing chain tensioner, fuel pump, rear drive rebuild, Rich Phillips custom seat 314/392-7841, (Old one’s pan broken. Thank you Dave Bissell for your old K bike seat core.) speedometer rebuild at Paloalto, (never worked right after the lightning hit) Cyclops H4 LED, another Parabellem windshield (Thank you Dr. Larry Floyd for painting the fairing blue.), Odyssey battery, etc. That’s a lot of money spent on something that’s worth very little. But, like an old shoe, it fits and is comfortable. “Like say, like so.” – Glenn Earney (Glenn was one of my mentors.)

“The journey became the destination.”

– anonymous quote

Have there been epic journeys? Certainly, but no different than anyone else’s. Like learning how to lane split in California following a sport bike whose pillion was wearing a thong. (Gotta love those spherical lane dividers.) Touring Forest Lawn Cemetery. Finding out that the restaurant on the way to Mt.Palomar is vegetarian. Riding around big boulders after a rock slide. Taking Hwy 1 north one trip then south on another. Hitting a roll of carpet, at speed, that fell off of a pick up, at 1:00am.

(K Bikes can fly and land safely.) Listening to the roar of the ‘85 K100 engine through the mile long tunnel in Colorado. (The 1986 engine lost its intermediate shaft’s rivets @ 200,000. Replaced with a ‘85 K100 engine.) Getting hit by a dust devil then lightning in Iowa. (That acrid smell!) Birds that scream in the middle of the night that sound like someone was being murdered while you’re in a tent. (Florida locals call it a mating ritual and to ignore it…) Watching your wife get on all fours in public @ FOUR CORNERS MONUMENT. (She was not wearing a thong… darn)

Those who got me interested in riding BMW’s (I wanted a Honda Hurricane CBR 1000 but could not afford the insurance. St.Farm, however, had no issues with BMW’s!) were Bill Haggerty and Bob Odell of BMW Motorrad, St.Louis, Mo. We just lost Bill a few months ago. He and Bob were “Titans” of their day personally bringing in hundreds if not thousands of BMW’s and sidecar rigs to the US from Germany. Our thoughts and prayers go out to Sue and their family.

I would be remiss if I did not acknowledge those who have helped and continue to help me keep this machine on the road. First and foremost, would be Master Technician Tom Donovan (314) 640-8393. He has rebuilt/repaired so many items on the K100 that I would be hard pressed to find a nut or bolt which he hasn’t turned over the decades. Tom is retired but can still help with the old bikes. He does charge a fee. His library is extensive as are his specialized tools.

Next would be Jeff Stientjes of Bob Honz’s Gateway BMW St.Louis, Mo. Jeff is gifted with extensive parts knowledge of all things BMW new or old. Need a part for your bike? Call Jeff. He will know if it is right or if there is a better choice. Apparel/helmets? Marklyn Cobb will keep you safe. She is well versed in many protective clothing lines including those for the ladies. Service? Shannon Logan in the service department can service any BMW, especially the new models. This is a top of the line dealership that also offers an off road training school, travel seminars, appreciation parties, and more. Can’t find a bike? Bob Honz or his top sales consultant Tommy Huff will find it. 314/427-9090 This dealership is a destination and it’s about to get better! Be sure to check out their new location in Chesterfield. Make sure you are available to help with the move!

These are just a few highlights of our riding career while also paying homage to those who helped and continue to help along our journeys. Once again, due to the above referenced lawsuit and the nondisclosure agreement I had to sign, I will ask you not to publish our names. “Long journeys start at 6 and end at 3 going out. 1000 mile days are best left for coming back.” – Don Douglass

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